Mommies don't make money!

I wouldn’t focus on it too much. I’d guess she is just repeating something she heard or that come up in her play that day. I think your end message was fine. That both mommies and daddies make money and spend money and that someday she can decide if she will make money for her family, too.

Liz, Mom to Teagan (3) and Zach (6 mos)

“Beating up on minorities is always less politically toxic than beating up on majorities.” Andrew Sullivan

I used to work as a nanny for a child who kept insisting that all moms stay home and all dads work, and I couldn’t figure out where she was getting that idea from since her own mother wasn’t a SAHM. I had the same talk with her that you had with your daughter, but she still didn’t seem to believe me.

It’s sad to say, but I think that girls get really subtle messages about stuff like that from everywhere, movies, television, children’s books, other people’s conversations. I’m startled by the number of children’s books there are that show men and women doing stereotypical things. I’m also annoyed by the commercials that always portray mothers as being the only ones who cook, clean, take care of the children, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry, etc. I think it’s very, very easy for girls to absorb all of those messages from all around them.

I think the best you can do is to keep an eye on the books, movies, t.v. that she is exposed to and when you see something that is a stereotype you can talk to her about it, and then continue having the kind of conversations with her that you’re already having.

Also: you mentioned that you’re a teacher. It’s possible that she might be confused because her dad is at work more than you are. I don’t know what time you get home, but I assume since you’re a teacher then you probably get home earlier than your husband. Or does she see your husband pay for things more. I used to be really confused because my dad was always the one who drove when we went in public together – she just doesn’t like driving that much. And so (even though my mother drove us places when he wasn’t around) I just assumed that dad’s are the ones who drive and moms are the passengers. Kids just get strange ideas some times.

I agree with you about the subtle messages. I’m sure she gets many of those messages. Maybe I need to find more books with stronger girls, women. I didn’t think I’d have to do all of this so early.

She definitely knows what it’s like having a father who cleans, cooks, etc. We definitely don’t have all of the stereotypical roles in our house. I do the bills. But, I also do the laundry, and he mows the lawn. He takes her to the grocery store way more than I do.

You’re right. Yes, he works more than I do. Well, she just doesn’t always see me work either since I do it at night after she’s asleep. Also, he watches them on the weekend so I can grade in peace and quiet.

She probably sees me pay for things more since I take her to more places than he does.

Thanks for your ideas.