Parenting Culture Clash and Rambunctious Boy VENT
Comments (32)
PAUSE Please :)
Is there a need to take sides? I really appreciate all of your input. Yet, this isn’t a yes or no issue, IMO. If you feel the need to pick a team, go on. Except I will not be on one;)
This doesn’t need to be dramatic… :)
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"PAUSE Please :) Is there a need to take sides? I really appreciate all of your input. Yet, this..."
RE: PAUSE Please :)
Well, you DID say debate and commiserate… ;)
You seem to be a good sport about it. BTW, what are you talking about? This is mild salsa compared to some IndyMomma Drama! :)
“You think veer kidding und making mit de funny stuff?”-Nihilist #2, The Big Lebowski
"RE: Parenting Culture Clash and Rambunctious Boy VENT I agree with you on this one. Lately I’ve been giving in to my short temper and..."
RE: RE: Parenting Culture Clash and Rambunctious Boy VENT
In reference to your son climbing on the nature exhibit platform I can’t picture exactly what you mean. Not going to judge there :)
Thanks for not sentencing me;)
It was a fishery here in Texas, and was part of the indoor exhibit along a sloping concrete walkway. There were fishtanks on display, and the pipes were running into the platform below. A grating covered the platform with holes cut out to allow for the pipes to go through. It did not have the “museum feel” that some exhibits have, but was more like the indoor/outdoor portion at a zoo.
Anyways, I wanted him to get down and I had asked once. If the lady had not intervened, and he had not gotten down after the second or third time of being asked, I would have tried something else. I doubt that any parent expects themselves to force compliance the first time for every public situation…If so, that’s a lot to expect of yourself, isn’t it?
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"RE: PAUSE Please :) Well, you DID say debate and commiserate… ;) You seem to be a good sport about..."
RE: RE: PAUSE Please :)
Yes, I did.
I just saw a couple three replies that started off with “I agree with…” and got an instant headache. You know, the red light that pops on when you might have started a hot topic or hit a nerve for the day, which ends up in a 20 page back and forth…
I was just trying to prevent that from happening…Sorry, I probably jumped the gun;) Now my head hurts so much I doubt I can say anything else coherent:(
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"RE: Parenting Culture Clash and Rambunctious Boy VENT I am with The DalaiMama on this one. I have two boys 6 1/2yo and 18mo and they are as..."
RE: RE: Parenting Culture Clash and Rambunctious Boy VENT
Thank you.
I think there is a difference between rambunctious and respect.
Yup…
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"RE: RE: PAUSE Please :) Yes, I did. I just saw a couple three replies that started off with “I agree..."
RE: RE: RE: PAUSE Please :)
Now, now!
We can’t always agree on everything, can we? I was a disposable diaper, bottle-feeding, scheduled c-section mama, whereas other moms who I love and adore did the exact opposite. Does not mean wrong, or right, just how we all do things differently!
I commented because, well, I felt it was invited. I hope it didn’t come across as mean; just sharing my perspective. :)
Mom to Jack and Daniel . . . future NFL MVPs!
"RE: Rambunctious Boy VS. Respect I agree w/ TheDalaiMama on this one. Whereas situation #1, I agree w/ the OP; so, the..."
RE: RE: Rambunctious Boy VS. Respect
The sand-court thing . . . I would have let my boys play in the sand, with the caveat that they must cease playing when anyone came that wanted to use the court for its intended purpose.
Yep, that’s the kind of thing I would have said if I hadn’t let myself get distracted.
One thing I’m trying is when my boys are being rambunctious/annoying: running laps. Helps them get their “wiggles” out!
Great idea, and he might even think it’s fun! He does do laps around the house several times a day doing his “imaginaring.”
Just my 2 cents on the issue! Hang in there!
Thank you. I appreciate your encouragement!!
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"RE: RE: RE: PAUSE Please :) Now, now! We can’t always agree on everything, can we? I was a disposable..."
RE: RE: RE: RE: PAUSE Please :)
No, no!
I misjudged the first lines of a couple very nicely written posts and I had a little panic.
Maybe I need a nap;)
Soryy, you’re a great gal and I didn’t mean to get snippety at you!
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
"RE: RE: RE: RE: PAUSE Please :) No, no! I misjudged the first lines of a couple very nicely written posts and I had a..."
Big hug
No, I didn’t think you were getting snippety at me! I was hoping you didn’t think I* was getting snippy with *you! LOL!
I think sometimes we all just need validation that we are doing okay by our children. Sounds like you are doing JUST FINE even though it may not be exactly as I do!
Go getta nap!
Mom to Jack and Daniel . . . future NFL MVPs!
"Big hug No, I didn’t think you were getting snippety at me! I was hoping you didn’t..."
Thanks
I did lie down when I put the baby in bed and my head is feeling better.
This is one of those days when hugs are even more appreciated. One of those days that if someone asks sincerely how I’m doing (like my Dad did at lunchtime,) I will get close to crying. It’s the sympathy that gets me.
My DH has been gone for 3 weeks and it will be 2 months before we get to join him in Switzerland.
It’s hard taking care of 5 kids by myself-all of a sudden-especially when my DH always did so much to help. It’s hard keeping up with these little boogers when we go out:) I can be pretty good at it a couple times a week, but every time we go somewhere, gets wearing after a while!
I’ve seen lots of great parents with different styles out there and it IS encouraging.
What’s the most predominant greenhouse gas?...The climate of Earth is able to support life in large part because of the atmospheric greenhouse effect and the workings of the hydrological cycle. Water in the gaseous phase, water vapor, is a key element in both of these.
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Submitted by evangelica on Jul 23, 2008 at 12:03 AM
Any other mommas of “rambunctious boys” wonder if their kid has it rough these days?
I’ve had several experiences lately that represent the chasm between old prevailing parenting attitudes and popular new ones.
1. My dad asking me to spank my DS-7 so he’d sit still for a group photo: I didn’t, just reminded DS of our conversation earlier in the day about being respectful in the pic, and he hopped into place.
2. Today my DS was walking on the platform which supports part of a nature exhibit. I wasn’t worried about him hurting anything or himself, but I thought it was disrespectful, so I asked him to get down. He didn’t and an older woman went up to him, grabbed his arm, and said to me, “Excuse, me, m’am, is this your son? He shouldn’t be walking up here.” She led him down. I said “Yes, I know,” and I thanked her. She apparently wasn’t satisfied with my reaction and reiterated, “He shouldn’t be up there! HORRIBLE!” I thanked her again. Keep in mind, that talking to her meant I couldn’t talk him down at the same time, but a moment later I did get on his level. I think she felt that I either should have prevented it altogether or perhaps got in his face till he was down, I’m not sure…
3. We were at a park which included 2 adjacent sand v-ball courts. Children, mine included, were using one as a sandbox and I was watching them and another child at the playground. Soon some adults started a game in the other sand court. I saw my son sitting near the boundary of their court and went over to tell him to move. Once I started to talk to him, a player looked over and said that my son had been running around in their court. I apologized and started to guide my son away. Next another player added that my son had been a “smart-mouth,” and I apologized again. We left pretty soon after that.
Now I by no means think my son has perfect social skills and behavior. He has many strong points. He is articulate when he wants to communicate. He is often thoughtful and helpful. He has yet a lot to learn. I, too, have much room for improvement as his mother.
BUT I sometimes wonder if some adults have the ability to look at situations from a kid’s point of view. They see a kid in “their” sand court and tell him to get off. The kid says, “Why should I?” and they think he’s being a smart-mouth. Well, he IS sincerely being a smart mouth. He knows the park is for everybody and he doesn’t realize he’s disrupting their game and he is asking an honest question. He wants to join in their fun. I can’t blame them for being annoyed at him or me, since it’s my job to answer my sons questions and intervene when he is disrupting others. I just wonder if adults think when they say, “Get off,” how unreasonable that can sound. I wonder if they know how to talk to kids. It’s not rocket science. How ‘bout “Excuse me, young man, but we are trying to play a game here and you are making it impossible. Could you please get off?”
With the lady at the exhibit, does she always think in terms other than what’s “proper?” Does she ever think pragmatically, “Is he hurting anything?” and does she ever question the obligation she’s obviously assumed to correct other people’s children when they do something that offends her version of propriety? When and from where did she decide what is proper, and does she ever question that?
With my Dad, does he realize how often he reacts instead of responding? Has he ever asked himself why in the world a 7-yr-old boy would want to stop playing to pose with a bunch of people for a stranger with a camera? Does he really think that “because I said so” is enough? (Now, I know the answers for my Dad would be Yes, Yes, and No…he has become more open-minded over the years, but old habits take time to change.)
Anyone else wondering the same things? Feel free to comment, commiserate, or debate. BUT please, no “I feel sorry for your children,” comments…you’d be preaching to the choir! I have my hands full but I haven’t and won’t ever give up! ;)
“Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to ensure the survival and success of liberty.” -John F. Kennedy