How to stop the "No's"?

We say “mommy said yes or daddy said yes”

I feel it is important for children to express how they feel. I want my children to feel comfortable expressing a “NO” to someone as they mature. I would like them to speak their mind and not feel they always have to please others by saying “YES” all the time.

If my older children disagree with me they say “Mom I have a different idea or thought on that-lets talk!”

I cannot tolerate when parents say-”DONT YOU TELL ME NO” Pure stupidity in my opinion!

Good luck :)

Call me stupid then! I tell her not to tell me no all the time.

While, I agree that there are times when no is appropriate, I don’t feel that at this age we’re into those instances yet.

My older ds has n understanding of when it is appropriate to say no. I don’t think I’m harmimg her by telling her not to tell me no.

Stop using the word “no” in your house. Seriously. I made it a point to not use “no” with Uther and he rarely says the word! Sometimes he will say, “Enough, mom!”, since I use “enough” often.

Instead of withholding kisses to “teach her a lesson”, think of it as natural consequences. The natural consequence of going back and forth and waffling on kisses is that you end up with none.

OR….you could re-phrase the kisses question so that “no” is a nonsensical response. “Do you want 7 kisses or 3 kisses?” “Do you want a nose kiss or a foot kiss?”

Misty, have I told you lately that you are a smart lady? If not, then please let me remedy that. You are one smart woman!! Thank you! I will use your suggestions.

I agree with Misty. One thing they told us in our education classes was to phrase things so that you are telling children what you want them to do, NOT what you don’t. For instance a problem we have A LOT in our house is running. Dh will bellow “stop running!” I, OTH will say “please walk” or “use your walking feet,” “we walk inside the house,” etc. That way I am telling the kids that I want them to WALK. Sometimes I will even follow it up with “running is for outside.”

I do think the no thing is a phase though. My nephew is 2 and his bus monitor & bus driver call him the “no boy.” LOL In fact I bought him a shirt that says “my name is no.” With him though, as his vocabulary has improved, he’s saying no less frequently. Another instance we’ve had is I’ll say “let’s put your pj’s on.” He’ll say no so then I’ll just put him in bed with only a pull up.”

The no stage is very frustrating and although it is somewhat developmentally appropriate, if we don’t start teaching them at 1, 2, 3, etc that they need to do what we ask them to rather than saying no right off, then they’ll be 12 or 13 year olds who still think it’s ok. The good news is, like most phases, this too will pass. :)

And for the record, I think three year olds (for the most part) are worse than twos. When I worked in day care I often said whoever coined the phrase “terrible twos” never spent much time with a 3 year old! Good luck! :)

Maybe I have 5-YES FIVE-of the most wonderful children including a three year old-thanks!

We do not use the “NO” word repeatedly in our home-we do not have a “no” atmosphere.

Everyone parents differently as well- not all things work with all children-its called flexibility!

By the way you agreed to stupidity and I may have to agree with you- to anyone that would withhold kisses or affection to the love of their life-just because they expressed them self!