Mommies don't make money!
Comments (3)
RE: Mommies don't make money!
I wouldn’t focus on it too much. I’d guess she is just repeating something she heard or that come up in her play that day. I think your end message was fine. That both mommies and daddies make money and spend money and that someday she can decide if she will make money for her family, too.
Liz, Mom to Teagan (3) and Zach (6 mos)
“Beating up on minorities is always less politically toxic than beating up on majorities.” Andrew Sullivan
RE: Mommies don't make money!
I used to work as a nanny for a child who kept insisting that all moms stay home and all dads work, and I couldn’t figure out where she was getting that idea from since her own mother wasn’t a SAHM. I had the same talk with her that you had with your daughter, but she still didn’t seem to believe me.
It’s sad to say, but I think that girls get really subtle messages about stuff like that from everywhere, movies, television, children’s books, other people’s conversations. I’m startled by the number of children’s books there are that show men and women doing stereotypical things. I’m also annoyed by the commercials that always portray mothers as being the only ones who cook, clean, take care of the children, do the grocery shopping, do the laundry, etc. I think it’s very, very easy for girls to absorb all of those messages from all around them.
I think the best you can do is to keep an eye on the books, movies, t.v. that she is exposed to and when you see something that is a stereotype you can talk to her about it, and then continue having the kind of conversations with her that you’re already having.
Also: you mentioned that you’re a teacher. It’s possible that she might be confused because her dad is at work more than you are. I don’t know what time you get home, but I assume since you’re a teacher then you probably get home earlier than your husband. Or does she see your husband pay for things more. I used to be really confused because my dad was always the one who drove when we went in public together – she just doesn’t like driving that much. And so (even though my mother drove us places when he wasn’t around) I just assumed that dad’s are the ones who drive and moms are the passengers. Kids just get strange ideas some times.
"RE: Mommies don't make money! I used to work as a nanny for a child who kept insisting that all moms stay home and all..."
RE: RE: Mommies don't make money!
I agree with you about the subtle messages. I’m sure she gets many of those messages. Maybe I need to find more books with stronger girls, women. I didn’t think I’d have to do all of this so early.
She definitely knows what it’s like having a father who cleans, cooks, etc. We definitely don’t have all of the stereotypical roles in our house. I do the bills. But, I also do the laundry, and he mows the lawn. He takes her to the grocery store way more than I do.
You’re right. Yes, he works more than I do. Well, she just doesn’t always see me work either since I do it at night after she’s asleep. Also, he watches them on the weekend so I can grade in peace and quiet.
She probably sees me pay for things more since I take her to more places than he does.
Thanks for your ideas.
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Submitted by corazon on May 14, 2008 at 9:37 PM
So, I was driving home with my children today. My daughter is almost four. She caught me completely by surprise. Here’s our conversation:
“Daddy’s going to be home, right.”
“No, he’s working, honey.”
“Aw, he’s working again.”
“Yes, your mommy and daddy have to work.”
“But, mommies don’t make money.”
“Um, what? Yes, many mommies make money. Why would you say that?”
“Because only daddies make money.”
That’s where I asked over and over where she heard that. I started racking my brain trying to figure out who could have said that. I kept asking her, and finally she said that nobody said it. She just thought of it she said.
I’ve had many conversations with her about why I work. Since last summer, she’s been asking me why I can’t stay with her during the day. I always tell her I like teaching, and I have to make money. I’ve told her my money helps pay for our house, clothes, toys, food, etc.
I ended the conversation with, “Honey, not just daddies make money, and some daddies don’t make money. Many mommies make money. You can grow up and make money for your family if you want.”
I’m trying to decide why she thought this. I’m sure I’m thinking about it too much like I did when she said she her belly was too fat a few months ago.
Thoughts? Would this have surprised any of you?
I have nothing against any mothers who don’t make money. I will be one in a few months when I SAH! I’m sure many moms feel that their husband’s money is their money.